Wednesday, March 20, 2013


Recently, I have found myself excited over some things that I never thought that I would be so ready for. There is a renewed sense of hope in my being that has truly helped me to deal with the ache in my heart over the loss of special individuals in my life.

With this, I have found a new sense of creativity to write. I have been combining and mixing in the perspectives I think could come from my husband and stepdaughter in with my own thoughts and feelings. When you are so connected with someone, there are times when his or her own pain feels very much like your own. If you read my writings keep this in mind. Do not assume you know the entire picture.

Hope! There is so much to hope for.  Joy can be yours despite the circumstances that surround you. When things look impossible and hopeless beyond repair, God is doing what He does best. He is working out things for your good that never would take place without every circumstance and situation occurring as it has. 

Everything that has occurred in my life has given me a choice. I can choose to let it make me bitter or I can choose God and allow Him to make me better through it all. This choice is daily, sometimes even an hourly decision depending on the difficulty of the task. I have chosen God over everything. I choose Him now and forevermore. I will not wait to choose Him until tomorrow or the day after that. I will not wait for certain people to do certain things, nor depend on them for my needs. Instead I will forevermore choose God.

God knows me. He has my entire being memorized. It is my desire to know the deepest parts of who He is. I long to hear His heartbeat, to know and listen to His voice above all others, as well as allow Him to love through me. His love casts out all fear. His love heals. His love convicts and brings a cleansing joy over those who surrender and serve Him. It is a love that is unconditional (yet He does not put up with sin for this damages and destroys whom He loves), it is slow to anger (no instant, raging outbursts from Him), and it conquers all things and never fails. This is only a short description of true love, Agape.

Being an imperfect individual being perfected by the maker of Love, I know that I am and will forever learn what His love looks like depending on the person and situation. It is hard because often, even those of us in the church, think that love means very much what the world thinks of it. The world thinks that by loving a person we allow them to continue in destructive behaviors and lifestyles. This goes from one extreme to the next, as long as they are happy. This could mean sexual orientation, other lifestyles, speaking white lies, and even gossip/slander. 

God does not like even a hint of darkness in our lives. Let me say that again, not even a hint! It is this way because He alone knows just how much one small compromise or one small attachment of sin can tumult itself into destruction for one person and then, entire families.  For this reason, it is imperative that we make a choice daily to give up of ourselves and allow God to reign in every aspect of our heart, mind, body, and spirit. There can be no compromise, only true, full devotion.

With this in mind, God knows that we all make mistakes and stumble along on our journey. What matters here is the heart. Where is your heart? What is in the deepest parts of your heart that often is hidden from others, yet exposed to God? Do you long for Him to have every part; all the imperfect pieces, the hurt? Will you allow Him to heal you, to perfect you into His likeness so that you can understand more fully His love? It is only by giving up of yourself that you will find yourself more in His presence. He does not force us to dwell with Him. It is our choice. 

Choice. If we choose Him there is so much more joy, hope, faith and love than we could ever fathom. I choose Him. It is why I have hope today.

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