Life
can be so difficult and painful.
Even
when the sun is shining and the birds are singing, inside your heart it can
still feel like winter.
In
some sense I have a few areas in my own life where it still feels like
winter.
I
have been waiting and waiting for spring to come while expecting a long,
beautiful summer to follow.
I
know that it is during those moments when I feel like giving up most, that I
have to truly believe that spring is on the verge of breaking through. How do
you break free from the grips of waiting for a miracle time after time, for
years, with the only result being tears?
With
so many tears, one would think that a sea would have been formed from them. But
there is no sea to reveal this hard journey. Deep down I truly believe that the
Lord waters a beautiful garden with our tears to be able to bring forth growth
that would never have taken place without them.
Dear
one, if you feel like you are still in winter or maybe even a blizzard, have
hope that spring is on the verge of breaking forth.
Last
night I watched October Baby. If you have yet to see that movie I suggest that
you do. It is a great story based on a true one! The messages were powerful.
God was speaking to me throughout the entire movie as I was asking Him a series
of questions about some people that have walked out of my life.
What
I was able to relate to was the rejection the main character felt. She desired
a relationship with someone who abandoned her more than once. Abandonment. It
is a horrible thing to know how it feels like. And it is something that I feel
I have had a taste of.
To
these people I say this, "Maybe without me
You'll return to all the beauty I once knew..."
But
they are gone now, frozen in the dead of winter. And I am left here wondering
if they ever existed.
So
here I am. It is still winter. I watch and wait for the rays of sun to melt the
ice and bring love. There is a hope in me that my God will come and breathe a
breath of life back into them. It is the hope of sharing "all the beauty I
once knew" in their presence of restored unity and love, that keeps me from
burying them.
(Quote from the song "Broken Pieces" - Apocalyptica)
