A Study Break Reflection of Life

Beautiful chaos: sweet moments with the One who holds my heart.

Just when life seems to take a drastic turn another comes to jolt us out into a different place. Life is rather crazy and there are moments where we look at our lives and we know that there is no way on earth that we could ever do this without God. We are learning so much in this process.

One of these lessons is the huge truth that without God we are literally nothing. This is not to say that we have not recognized this before but to experience it in a different manner is exhilarating! When we recognize that being in the presence of God is more important than anything, we hold a key to the kingdom of God. In His presence there is: wholeness, peace, and divine love. There is no worry for today and no worry for tomorrow.

At this stage in our lives we have been given the great gift of learning what it means to dive into His presence more and more. We have given up financial gain for more of God.  We have endured slander, criticism, backstabbing, and other ungodly things because of our radical lives. Its great… and tough!

I was asked about a week ago if we regretted making the changes that we have. It hit me at that moment that instead of regretting it, which others would because of our financial state, that I actually cherished it! God has given me these great gifts that money could never buy! I could never earn them on my own. More of Him is worth anything and everything. This truly has been being put to test in my life and also in our lives as a family.

This does not mean that every moment is easy. In fact it seems that life just gets more difficult. And as it gets more difficult it also gets so amazing and wonderful because God reveals more of Himself in the process. I would never trade this life with God for anything! Love and worship to our King and Provider are our greatest weapons against the enemy. I will dance my way into my God’s victorious arms of strength and power.

Beautiful chaos: sweet moments with the One who holds my heart.

Flying

Here I am trying to figure out what to write about when there is so much on my mind and so much going on...

To summarize the theme with life at the moment it is trust, hope, and contentment. Never in my life have I ever trusted God so much to take care of my family and me. Never in my life have I had such hope for the things to come and the things God has promised us. With trust comes such contentment. It is the best way to live. There is so much joy, happiness, and peace in the middle of the storm.

I am like a bird. In taking a huge leap I have found that my wings carry me high and I am enjoying the thrill of flying. Even in extraordinary winds and weather I place my eyes on the one who formed me. This is what keeps me going. This is why I soar!

I love you Jesus!

As you surround me, be lifted high.

Here Is To Love

You found me in the desert, searching for water, just a drop of peace.
I was desperate to find you, just a glimpse of your eyes.
My feet were beginning to ache and my head felt faint.

Weary was I.
Tired was I.
But yet I still hoped to find you.

The sun dropped from the sky, and the wind came and swept me off of my feet.
And there I was, in a sea of stars, immersed in beauty.

Fire and lightning collided in front of me, only to be found in your arms.
Such strong yet gentle hands. Peace consumed my entire being.

I heard my name, such a gentle whisper. It sparked the flame in my heart.
Unifying grace, and love departed from your lips. They tasted like sweet wine, satisfying my thirst for the one who I have always longed for.

You swept me off of my feet and you continue to as each star bursts in abundant power and furious love. Imperfectly complete, yet perfectly graceful. You make me brave and show me who I've always been.

I am so thankful that you call me yours. Each tender word, each glance of your eyes, shows me how this dance is worth every step. Never had I thought that my big dreams overtaking my heart would have brought me to you like this.

Dreams do come true. Never will I doubt again. Never will I be hidden. I will always be yours, forever yours.

Here is to Love.

Susanna Foth Aughtmon, I Blame Eve

I Blame Eve by Susanna Foth Aughtmon.

She has done it again! Susanna Foth Aughtmon has written a book filled with such humor and truth that it will leave you laughing out loud as well as taking a good look at your own heart. I Blame Eve: Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes, reveals the core of our issues. Susanna call’s it the “Eden Gene” and that we all have “Eve-ish” tendencies that we need to give up.

With brutal honesty she incorporates examples from her own life as well as accurate scripture references to reveal the issue of our human tendency to have control. She introduces you briefly with a proper understanding of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and how we were all meant to look and act just like the God who loves us no matter what we do. She speaks the truth gracefully, never portraying to have been perfect herself, yet revealing how God can mold us into his image and truly change us.

Instead of living with our hands clenching the wheel of our lives, being selfish, and thinking that we know better, giving all this up and letting go is freedom. Susanna Foth Aughtmon states, “It is our job to choose him. It is his job to free us from ourselves and form us and breathe new life into us.” When we learn to stop “listening to the snake” there is freedom. When we learn to give up our “Eve-ishness” there is freedom. She shows us that when we give up these things, we can then be transformed into the creation God originally intended us to be.

Even if you think that you have a good understanding of these issues or concepts, I encourage you to pick this book up and read it. There is a study guide in the back, which would offer excellent small group discussion points. If you are one that prefers to skip the questions, the content in the book is a good start in doing a reflection of your own heart. Susanna Foth Aughtmon writes with such sweet, brutal honesty that it’ll leave you longing to let go and let God in more. Pick up the book today, and stop listening to talking snakes.

I received this book courtesy from Baker Publishing Group and these opinions are my own.

Courage

As I was reflecting over some things today the topic of courage came up in my prayers. There are so many aspects of my life in the past where I shrunk back from doing something or saying something because I lacked the courage to stand strong. I often felt that if I just made sure to do whatever anyone told me to do to make them happy that I was doing my job as a human being. Well, now after taking steps to change that and at times having to recognize my value and stand up for myself, certain people have not been so happy.

I recently listened to a sermon that talked about how the enemy wants to erase our value. The enemy hates how valuable we are in God. He hates it because he has no power in that truth. Any chance he gets he will slowly pound lies into our hearts and minds about how we are not as good as we thought or never have been, and on it will go. When we are constantly being bombarded by messages of negativity about ourselves it can slowly wear on us and possibly even make us doubt our value. Maybe some of you have believed lies, much like myself, that I was not worth as much as God was telling me. I remember a time in high school when any positive messages of my great value came into my life, I would lash out because I felt so horrible as a person. I felt worthless.

There have been people in my life who have done the same lashing out at me. One simple lovely word about how beautiful they are and how precious they are and POW! Instant anger or _____ (that's a cloud of nothing) I receive the silent treatment. I have often wondered what it is that has been going on in their lives and hearts for this to happen? I know that my own self-worth was damaged from being sexually abused as a child. But what of these people who portray to others that everything is fine; who will even tell you to your face with a smile that they love you, want a relationship and then treat you as if you are lesser or do not exist? Often I have blamed myself, thinking that if I were only more like what they wanted me to be then we may actually have a relationship. But this is a lie! And I will call the enemy out on it now that I have recognized this truth.

What is going on in your heart? Do you recognize and accept how valuable you are?

It is a prayer of mine that courage would reign in our lives to balk at the enemy and catch these lies that make us feel less valuable than we really are. I pray we will have the courage and the strength to stand in love and continue to show everyone how valuable they are. True love casts out all fear, which then empowers us to stand amidst the storms and the blows of lies and deception from the enemy. Will you have the courage to look the enemy in the eye and tell him he is wrong? Will you stand for truth even if it means facing some difficult challenges from others?

Oh Lord, please give us more courage. May we see ourselves through your eyes and never stray from your truth. Amen.

Let go

Condemnation. It hit me further today after counseling a suicidal contact of mine just how much we can tend to condemn ourselves because we do not meet our expectations of ourselves, or meet the expectations of others. God brought to my attention times where I still can condemn myself without even realizing it. It has been such a habit of mine through the years. Most often we can tend to blame God for this when we need to let go of ourselves to let God in and show us how He looks at us.

I am thankful that God brought this to my attention because condemnation is not from Him at all. In fact it separates us from experiencing His grace in the fullest measure. This one area that I tend to condemn myself in relates to a part in my life that used to cause me such pain. I can say that God has slowly been healing this part of me and I am so thankful! I am not perfect so there are times when I still condemn myself but as God brings it to my attention, He helps me be able to let it all go each time, slowly but surely. I will continue to let go until it all has fallen away.

As I spend time with my Savior who came to save us rather than condemn us (John 3:17) I am swept away by how much He loves me! When I am caught up in His arms I realize that how I have condemned myself is so far from the truth. I love being in the arms of Love and truth! As I let go, each part falling to the ground, it builds me up so that I will be found in the fullness of His grace.

And as I continue to let go, it increases my hunger to seek and save all of those who are lost and hopeless. I hunger for Jesus! I hunger for more of His Love! I hunger to be less so that He can be more! Lord use me wherever I go. Use my writing. Use my words. Use my life to bring people to your feet. Help me to show others that condemnation is not from you but that you have come to save all to live a life full of immeasurable joy and freedom. Thank you Jesus for your Love! May your Love increase in us.

Let go and let God be your everything. Look only upon His face, for in His eyes, you will see who you are and who He wants you to become as you let go.

Sweet ramblings

Oh such sweet moments with Jesus as I have time to slow down more today after a couple crazy weeks. There is so much that God is doing both visible and invisible. There is so much more to do. I hear God whispering to me, "Are you listening? Are you ready? The baby is coming."

As I have pondered about what to write about, I found difficulty in pinpointing where to begin. There is so much truth, revelation, grace and "assignments" that God has put on my heart so I apologize if this post is a little scattered with thoughts. Despite all these things this is encouraging to me because it keeps on confirming the call on my life to go to the nations. He is placing messages to preach, songs to sing, and images of people to embrace, deep in my heart.

I am so thankful that God has placed us where He has for this season in our lives because He has surrounded us with people who encourage us and speak life into our hearts. How unfortunate it is for those who are so pessimistic and negative! How sad it is for those who are missing out on the vitality of a vibrant life with God that gives hope that anything is possible. Can't is not in God's vocabulary except for the fact that He cannot stop loving you.

God has been reminding me once again about Agape love as I have been focusing on this business opportunity that He practically placed into my lap. One of the things that I often have to remind myself is that despite the lack of love from others, I can still work through the pain without letting it affect my thoughts, words, and actions in a negative way. One of the most frustrating things that I have been working through is the lack of change, and actions of others and how slander continues to flourish behind the scenes because of unhappy people who only need more of Jesus Love to permeate their entire being.

I see how jealousy can take root and then people are consumed by it without even realizing that it is a monster eating away at their soul and relationships. How sad that these people allow this jealousy to anger them; to speak words of death and curses that can choke their own life from growing as well as cause deep pain in others. How sad that Love is calling to them, standing right in front of them to live life vibrantly in Him and they choose the opposite that leads to death!

God weeps for you and He loves you more than you will ever know. Even when you think that you have been filled so much by His love to a point of overflowing, and in overwhelming measures that no words nor actions can express it, God will drench you even more. How precious is this gift of Love! How consuming it is! Oh to love more; to give more and to embrace all that God desires for us! He is calling to you. Are you listening? He is showing you what to do. Are you obeying Him? He longs for every part of you to serve Him. Do you love Him so much that you would be willing to die for Him?

At the end of the day, after lies have been spoken, denials have been made, and apathetic people continue to sit on their couches, Jesus still longs to show you a life so full of Love, joy, hope, and immeasurable faith. I praise God that He uses every decision good or bad to draw us closer to Him. He uses such pain and such horrible words and actions from others (or ones from ourselves) to bring you into His loving arms of peace.

I have wept in His arms many nights. He has healed so much of me and continues to do so. Nothing will ever compare to Jesus and His Love! Nothing! I weep knowing that God has brought me back to life from such a path that was once leaning in the direction of death. And now He has equipped me to go out and bring to life the dead and dry bones of others who have yet to experience true Love and Life. Thank you Lord for Life!

Such Love! How can I express this Love? It runs so deep and is so wide. Each tear proclaims your goodness oh God. Use my hands Lord, use my voice, use every part of me for your glory. May my life be the greatest love letter to you my one and only King of Kings.