Let go

Condemnation. It hit me further today after counseling a suicidal contact of mine just how much we can tend to condemn ourselves because we do not meet our expectations of ourselves, or meet the expectations of others. God brought to my attention times where I still can condemn myself without even realizing it. It has been such a habit of mine through the years. Most often we can tend to blame God for this when we need to let go of ourselves to let God in and show us how He looks at us.

I am thankful that God brought this to my attention because condemnation is not from Him at all. In fact it separates us from experiencing His grace in the fullest measure. This one area that I tend to condemn myself in relates to a part in my life that used to cause me such pain. I can say that God has slowly been healing this part of me and I am so thankful! I am not perfect so there are times when I still condemn myself but as God brings it to my attention, He helps me be able to let it all go each time, slowly but surely. I will continue to let go until it all has fallen away.

As I spend time with my Savior who came to save us rather than condemn us (John 3:17) I am swept away by how much He loves me! When I am caught up in His arms I realize that how I have condemned myself is so far from the truth. I love being in the arms of Love and truth! As I let go, each part falling to the ground, it builds me up so that I will be found in the fullness of His grace.

And as I continue to let go, it increases my hunger to seek and save all of those who are lost and hopeless. I hunger for Jesus! I hunger for more of His Love! I hunger to be less so that He can be more! Lord use me wherever I go. Use my writing. Use my words. Use my life to bring people to your feet. Help me to show others that condemnation is not from you but that you have come to save all to live a life full of immeasurable joy and freedom. Thank you Jesus for your Love! May your Love increase in us.

Let go and let God be your everything. Look only upon His face, for in His eyes, you will see who you are and who He wants you to become as you let go.

Sweet ramblings

Oh such sweet moments with Jesus as I have time to slow down more today after a couple crazy weeks. There is so much that God is doing both visible and invisible. There is so much more to do. I hear God whispering to me, "Are you listening? Are you ready? The baby is coming."

As I have pondered about what to write about, I found difficulty in pinpointing where to begin. There is so much truth, revelation, grace and "assignments" that God has put on my heart so I apologize if this post is a little scattered with thoughts. Despite all these things this is encouraging to me because it keeps on confirming the call on my life to go to the nations. He is placing messages to preach, songs to sing, and images of people to embrace, deep in my heart.

I am so thankful that God has placed us where He has for this season in our lives because He has surrounded us with people who encourage us and speak life into our hearts. How unfortunate it is for those who are so pessimistic and negative! How sad it is for those who are missing out on the vitality of a vibrant life with God that gives hope that anything is possible. Can't is not in God's vocabulary except for the fact that He cannot stop loving you.

God has been reminding me once again about Agape love as I have been focusing on this business opportunity that He practically placed into my lap. One of the things that I often have to remind myself is that despite the lack of love from others, I can still work through the pain without letting it affect my thoughts, words, and actions in a negative way. One of the most frustrating things that I have been working through is the lack of change, and actions of others and how slander continues to flourish behind the scenes because of unhappy people who only need more of Jesus Love to permeate their entire being.

I see how jealousy can take root and then people are consumed by it without even realizing that it is a monster eating away at their soul and relationships. How sad that these people allow this jealousy to anger them; to speak words of death and curses that can choke their own life from growing as well as cause deep pain in others. How sad that Love is calling to them, standing right in front of them to live life vibrantly in Him and they choose the opposite that leads to death!

God weeps for you and He loves you more than you will ever know. Even when you think that you have been filled so much by His love to a point of overflowing, and in overwhelming measures that no words nor actions can express it, God will drench you even more. How precious is this gift of Love! How consuming it is! Oh to love more; to give more and to embrace all that God desires for us! He is calling to you. Are you listening? He is showing you what to do. Are you obeying Him? He longs for every part of you to serve Him. Do you love Him so much that you would be willing to die for Him?

At the end of the day, after lies have been spoken, denials have been made, and apathetic people continue to sit on their couches, Jesus still longs to show you a life so full of Love, joy, hope, and immeasurable faith. I praise God that He uses every decision good or bad to draw us closer to Him. He uses such pain and such horrible words and actions from others (or ones from ourselves) to bring you into His loving arms of peace.

I have wept in His arms many nights. He has healed so much of me and continues to do so. Nothing will ever compare to Jesus and His Love! Nothing! I weep knowing that God has brought me back to life from such a path that was once leaning in the direction of death. And now He has equipped me to go out and bring to life the dead and dry bones of others who have yet to experience true Love and Life. Thank you Lord for Life!

Such Love! How can I express this Love? It runs so deep and is so wide. Each tear proclaims your goodness oh God. Use my hands Lord, use my voice, use every part of me for your glory. May my life be the greatest love letter to you my one and only King of Kings.

Life!

Life! How does one describe the growing of life within them? The feeling of excitement, the anxious awaiting of a beautiful creation, and knowing it is a complete miracle to have it all forming within you. This is the best way to describe what is happening with me currently. There are no words to describe the life growing in me. I can hear the heartbeat and feel an outstretched hand. Every now and then a bit of nausea, followed with a movement to make me realize how alive this life truly is.

I am in a state of awe and wonder knowing how God meticulously has been forming it all into being just for me to realize how deep His love for me goes. His love is never-ending, unchanging, unconditional, and is always, always there. As life forms, I find myself swept away by Love so deep that I want to spend every moment in His presence. I would give up everything just for that to happen.

I feel the butterflies flutter in my stomach and it makes me want to dance. His arms wrap around me as I get lost looking into His eyes. His smile warms me from the inside out as my soul burns to give Him glory in all things. How amazing that He would plant in me such life and birth a gift unlike any other!

With this beautiful, precious life we will go to the nations. With my husband by my side, through each labor pain, we will be drenched in the sweat that brings forth life. Every pain, every contraction, and no matter how long the transition, it is worth it all for this life to be born. Through blood and rings of fire we will step into our destiny with God cutting through bars of iron just so that all things impossible become possible.

Thank you God for life and how you have given new wings to fly in this destiny that you are bringing forth!


Note: I am not physically pregnant. This is describing a spiritual pregnancy that God is bringing me through. 

Victorious!

Betrayed. Stolen from and raped of innocence. Darkness. Fear. Distrust. Lack of courage. Old self, you once were my constant reality. Now dead, I revel in the victory that Christ has given me! I stand in freedom and a joy that gives my heart wings and lifts my voice out from the depths. For so many years, I was convinced that the ravages of the enemy parading what he had stolen from me would forever dim my life. With a sneer he would flaunt it in every direction that I would look.

With Christ beside me, I took back my voice Sunday. Goodbye old fear. Goodbye old self that lacked the courage to do so long ago. As I stood on stage, before the throne of God, my greatest desire was only to please and glorify Him as I went forth following His instructions for me to take back my voice that was stolen from me. The enemy lay defeated and slain, with no power because of Christ and His healing power and love!

It is difficult to put into words this transformation that has taken place in me that flooded my soul on Sunday. I am in awe at the hand of God so deep within me! It felt as if my heart and soul opened up wider and deeper as I took back ground and sang in the power of the Holy Spirit. For the first time in years, when I sang, my heart finally felt like it was flying, just as it did when I was younger. All I can do is cry in thankfulness. And my tears, along with my hair, I will use to wipe the feet of Jesus. My greatest desire is to love Him with my whole heart.

Now more than ever, I know that wherever I go I must keep looking into the eyes of Jesus. I must not look to the right or the left. He is my strength. He is all I need. And His power is greater than any other. What victory does Jesus want you to have this year, this month, today? Go for it. Unlike the enemy, there is so much more that God wants to give you.

Our Last Great Hope: Awakening the Great Commission, Ronnie Floyd

A book review to share with you all. Read, enjoy and let me know what you think of the book once you read it.

Ronnie Floyd uses his passion and zeal to write Our Last Great Hope in such a way as to bring a beacon of light to the mission of all followers of Christ. By using personal examples, much like the apostle Paul did in his own writing, Floyd is able to convey the importance of the great commission. He explains why the church needs to get out of their seats and fulfill this call that is from Jesus. As simple as this may sound, it is evident that a large majority of believers lack the zeal to save the lost from going to hell. Floyd touches on this sad truth and is able to communicate the urgency to fulfill the great commission.

I encourage anyone to read Our Last Great Hope. Whether you have the same zeal or whether you need to be jolted with truth to spark a passion for the lost, this book will challenge you to rethink how you live your life in relation to our mission as followers of Jesus. Floyd’s passion should be one that we all have in common with each other and this book will help spark that in you if it has died down a little through the years.

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

You are Beautiful

I came home last week after work to find some love notes on the mirrors in our apartment from my husband. These simple actions of love mean so much to me. This picture above inspired me to write to you oh readers of mine. The phrase "You are Beautiful" may not strike much emotion in you but to me, it gives my heart wings at times. And it is a phrase that never gets old because when I hear it from my husband and from my Savior I know just how much they mean what they say.

For many years, God's consistent message to me has been how beautiful He made me and how beautiful my growth is to Him. Too often, we can tend to toss aside our value, especially when it is God telling it to us in many ways. When I look at the snow fall, I see how much God loves me and thinks I am beautiful. When I see how amazing a sunset is, I see the promises of God and I know God calls me beautiful. Everyday, there is something that God shows me to reveal this simple truth. It is like He is my lover who planted the tree in the backyard that I love just so that everyday I would know how great His love for me is... in fact, He showed me how deep His love for me was the day He died on a cross of wood from a tree that was planted for that very intention.

God uses my husband to communicate this same truth. I could not be more grateful for this! In fact, it has become a part of my daily life that I love and hold close to my heart every time I hear how beautiful I am from my husband. I must also say that there is a difference between having one say it and another mean it with every fiber in their being. For example: One can say that they love you but if they do not show it in their actions, the phrase is simply just words that have a superficial meaning to them. A person's actions reveal the truth and sincerity behind their words. It does not have to be complicated. Sometimes the simplest gesture can have a thousand meanings. And the person has to be able to be at a place where they can see it, hear it, and accept it deep into themselves.

I sense that many of you have been deeply, deeply wounded. In some ways, we all are alike because we are able to understand the pain of betrayal, rejection, gossip/slander, and so much more. When we allow God to heal these wounds and show us how safe He is, we are finally able to see, hear and accept our true value, our true identity. Too many times, we toss aside our true identity because we have yet to believe what God tells us about ourselves because of the pain (some of you may live or work in an environment where negative/false identities of who you are, are planted in your heart... or you may be holding onto the pain because that is what you are used to), while other times we just ignore His voice whispering in our ear because instead of living WITH Him we think that living for Him is the same and we remain busy.

So BEAUTIFUL ONE, you are deeply loved and you have a God who gave all and designed this earth to show you your value. The next time you see a flower growing through the cracks of pavement, or the sun rise from the darkness, know it was God who was thinking of you when He set it all in motion. His every thought is you! You are beautiful to Him. Soak it in, embrace it, and accept this truth. He has so much more He wants to show you. Accept His extended hands to be swept up into His arms as He longs to dance with you. You have no need to worry about the steps to this dance because all that matters to Him is that you are in His arms. Just keep looking in His eyes. There lies the truth of who you are. He does not lie. To you He says, "You are Beautiful, my Beloved."

My Life: A Bottle to Break Over Your Feet...

For the first time in weeks, I have some extra time to write about things on my heart. I must admit that I am tired, worn out and I feel a little beat up. There are so many good things that are happening and about to take place, but in the middle the enemy attempts to steal my joy. When life gets tough, I have to remind myself that God holds my heart and He is what matters.

At the moment, I am having an evening that reminds me of moments that I enjoyed from my years of being single. My husband is at a class tonight and it is strange that I am by myself. As I think this way, it also occurs to me that it seems strange that I would think that this is strange at all, because when I was single I thrived on nights like this. Nights where I would have a bubble bath by candlelight, eat junk food, and watch a girly movie.  These moments that I have enjoyed and am currently enjoying, are my favorite because Jesus meets with me here. I thrive being in the presence of God. It is all I want.

There is a song by Misty Edwards with a line that says, “I want to put my passion in a bottle and break it over your feet”, like the time Mary anointed Jesus with perfume. If I could put all that I am; all my dreams; all my passions; all my love; all of me into a bottle I would want to break it over Jesus’ feet and anoint him with it. As I think about what this means, it puts my heartache into perspective. My heart can be that bottle and each time that it breaks it pours a little bit more of my passion and life onto His feet as a love sacrifice. There is nothing more that I would want other than to love my Savior in this way.

As I reflect over the past year, all of the heartache was worth it. It helped fill up the bottle of expensive perfume to anoint over the feet of the one who calls me Beloved. What is even better is that my bottle fills up with not just heartache but of thanks for all of the wonderful things that God did for me this past year. 2011 was amazing in so many ways, and I get to wake up to one of the most precious gifts God has given me every morning!

Even though I am tired and beaten, my soul sings and my lips will forever give Him praise. I will live my life filling my bottle to pour over Jesus’ feet. No matter how many tears I cry, or how my heart might ache, and even if I may have a hard time breathing for the feeling of a sword piercing my heart, it is worth every priceless drop of my life over His feet. I am indeed a woman in love. And Love constantly sweeps me off of my feet into a sweet romance that is my life. Here I am. Forever yours.